Monday, March 30, 2009

Cabernet Merlot.

Her lips taste like plastic explosives,
With her eyes smelling of death,

I do not dream.

" All of you are so dearly lovely!"

" I would love to kiss you all!"

Squares of letters.
White letters!
Black squares?!
My god, you are so hard to read!

A blank rectangle..
An arrow on which I love to flip lines.
Squares of letters on which I love to express.

The cylinder falls victim to my mouth.
Falling in volume, it seems to scream to be emptied.

The cardboard, it contains the others..
The pretty white cylinders..
" Burn them, burn them!"

The pretty ones get jealous as I hold the cylinder to my mouth.
" You must.. consume.. them.. ALL!"

The shapeless hit my ears.
To my pleasure.

Fill me from the outside in with the shapeless, the smokable and the drinkable..
Yeah mother fucker..

Yeah.. I've been drinking.. hehehe.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009


Look at you.
Golden perfection.
Silence is golden, but, tape is silver.
Rape is momentary, but, memory is forever.

Constrict her breathing, a chloroform dream.
Did we really kill her, that night of Halloween?
Black market, the organ trade.
Be afraid baby, be very afraid.
Oh sweet, abdomen dwelling spleen,
Did we really decapitate her, just for a hit of morphine?

Fuck her body, but,
Rape her mind.

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Submissive by trade.

Drag the carcass along the dirt.
Yeah slut get down on your knees.
You are a dirty, dirty girl.
Foul bitch, you make me sick.

I slap your face until you scream,
I tweak your nipples until they bleed,
You love it,
It makes you sick.

Dirty gravel on an even dirtier moral ground,
Ingrained into my genetics like dirt in my pores.

" Fuck yeah, like that. Tell me you like it. You are a fucking dirty little girl."

Don't touch me.
Drag the carcass along the dirt.
Do with it what you will. It's dead isn't it?
She is so dead. Look at her yellowing eyes.

Fucking her with a knife, oh yeah, she screams so nice,
She flinches at the touch but loves it all the same.
Nothing, not the drugs, not the booze,
Nothing could hide her shame.

She is a shell.
Yeah, it's okay, it's all alright, she doesn't care, she doesn't care..

Staring at my keyboard with a blank expression.
Constantly fiddling, twitching, shaking, chewing, smoking.
I know you feel it too..

Monday, March 16, 2009

We draw at noon.

So empty, emptier than something that's empty or some shit like that.
I fucking hate it all. I will never forget;
" You have to look after yourself in this world, because no one else will."
Every day it becomes more apparent.

You can't pretend to care forever, unless you are a Christian asshole.

Fuck, I could go a huge healthy sack of goon right now.

I can't sleep at night. I feel this weird sick feeling all the time. I go days to weeks without sleep.
I guess I am just drifting, wasting time, waiting. Forever waiting. Who will make the first move?
This is a standoff. We are Mexican cowboys. Except I don't have a fucking gun for this round. All I hold is shit load of violence. Intense violence. Violence against YOU.

I guess I am just drifting, wasting time, waiting. Forever waiting for something dramatic, life changing even. Waiting for one event or a chain of related events to do or change something.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

I'm walking on sunshine.. whooaoooh.

Don't let me fall any further than this, this, this has to be it.
I can taste the failure. I can fucking taste it in the kiss.
It's 3:18,
My mouth tastes like the corpse of every pregnant teen.

Hollow streets on an even emptier night,
Your presence is poison, I'm addicted and NOTHING IS ALRIGHT.





Sunday, March 8, 2009

There is an exit here.

Fly to the land of dreams and nightmares.

Smile brightly as a score of dogs take hold of all four of your limbs with their cannibal fangs, ripping you apart. Smile as you get into the wrong car and become separated from the one you love. Smile as you climb into your favorite person's back yard and discover it isn't a yard at all, but a field. Smile while in your dream you realize you are straight. Smile as the four of them enchant you. Smile as you run from the cops outside a medieval castle. Smile while you kill your family and regret it.

There is no solace in sleep.

Smile because it is all you can do weather you are dreaming or not. Smile for the ones worse off than you and laugh for the ones fucking you over.

Sunday, March 1, 2009

It happened.. AGAIN.

The warm fuzzy feeling inside, the great goofy happiness, the fucking idiotic behavior that doesn't seem to matter at the time because you are too fucked off your fucking face. It was dirty, messy, dangerous, something to be ashamed of, and it definetly WASN'T beautiful. In more sober moments, I have no idea how much later it was, could of been minuets, hours, days? I tried to gain some comfort.

Again the cigarettes led me to you, and a bit of confusion and a bit of sadness and a bit of comfort. In that scene, there actually was beauty. You looked, so pale.. with messy hair and your pretty eyes.. the soft morning light being so complementary. Sitting at the wooden table outside. You asked me if I was okay, I lied to you so you wouldn't worry. And when the cigarette was stubbed out, when we embraced and you kissed my shoulder, you left.

I pulled my hood over my eyes and some kind of liquid was leaking from them.

You have no idea. Maybe you do. It doesn't matter, but I have no intention of telling you anytime soon.