Monday, February 9, 2009

Utter Conflict.

Mutiny at best. I couldn't kill her. What with her pretty face, golden hair and sparkling eyes. Her skin appeared to be so soft, so soft that if I was to touch it, it would bend. In her eyes there was a deep hardness, a hardness that I lacked. A hardness that made me feel insignificant and so God damn pathetic within a second of her gazing into my eyes.
Some melodramatic part of me wanted to pull her from that car to cry on her shoulder and apoligze for the heartless thing I had done to her, repent for my previous moment of bliss. But no. She didn't know me, we had never met. She has yet or wont know the deviate act I had commited against her. The angry, jelouse part of me just wanted to pull him from the car and start screaming to him right in front of her. But no. She didn't know me.
So in my drunken moment of confusion I did the only acceptable and most self conflicting thing I could have done. I smiled widely at her and made the peace sign with my free hand. I exclaimed " Seeya!" And I was off down the road back to my friends to consume unknown amounts of alcohol.
So beautiful, looking at her through the tinted car window. I must kill her, I must. I can't. I need I want.
Fuck love. Fuck her. Fuck him.

1 comment:

  1. I want to know more o.0
    (and really good writing btw)